Wednesday, June 15, 2005


Disclaimer: This is meant to be an unbiased entry. Not meant to offend anyone who happens to fit into any of the categories below (had to add this addendum after multiple comments appeared seconds after I blogged)
"Do you think I'm 'high-maintenance'?"
An ex-girlfriend asked me that not very long ago. After she had yet another squabble with the new man in her life.
It's one of those questions to which there are no right answers, and the best way to tackle that especially if you're still dating that person, is to not answer the question, but to suddenly stiffen up, roll your eyes back and starting shaking like you're experiencing a generalized tonic-clonic seizure.

Feigning urinary incontinence makes it a bit more convincing. And don't forget to froth at your mouth. Have some alka-seltzer ready in wallet at all times for moments like this (kinda like how some jocks at college kept condoms in their wallets).
If she has even half a heart, she'll forget asking that question and move on. Hopefully that includes calling 911. And if some idiot bystander tries to jam a piece of wood into your mouth, remember to bite off his fingers for believing that stupid myth (Dear readers: If you ever see someone seizing, NEVER try to put anything into his mouth to prevent tongue-biting).

Anyway. In the realm of guy-talk, what exactly IS a high-maintenance woman anyway?
Loaded question. With very subjective and variable answers, most of which are probably very chauvinistic porcine views. And since I'll be mostly quoting others, I should be safe from offending women. Should I?
  • Someone who does nothing but spends your money. Like I said, subjective. I have no problem having my significant other spend my money. In fact, I think that I would like to spoil and pamper her on occasion. But what people are referring to are probably women who carry a credit card in your name, who don't work, and yet use only G00-si (Gucci), Louis Vuitton and the like. You could fly to the moon and back every year, with the frequent flyer miles she chalks up on your credit card.
  • I remember this girl I had my eyes on some years ago. She had the cutest smile. And so I asked her out and she said yes. But my alarm bells went nuts the minute she said, "And by the way, I eat only Spanish and Italian food." Nothing wrong, except she's Singaporean.
  • And then, there's the woman who expects monthly flowers, to be given at their anniversaries. Again, I have nothing against gifts and surprises, but when someone starts expecting, that's when trouble begins. Conversely, some guys can be on the other end of the spectrum, not ever giving their partners even the smallest 'I care' surprise.
  • But my personal definition of high-maintenance, is probably someone who isn't sure of herself and demands constant reassurance and company. And I mean constant. I once went out with a girl who constantly asked me to tell her she was beautiful. It wasn't, "Am I beautiful?" but rather, "Tell me I'm beautiful." And she was, but that wasn't the point. Maybe I'm way off base (which would explain my current status), but she didn't seem interested at all with "I don't care how you look, I love you anyway." And so, she was always insecure with other women around, especially if they were perceived to be better looking. And she was always trying on the nicest/sexiest clothes to outdo them. I burnt out in a hurry.

Anyway. That's just my view. Someday, I'll ask one of you ladies out there to educate the rest of us what a high-maintenance man is.

"By the way, do you think my biceps are big?"


Anonymous cc said...

Oooh, dangerous topic dey. But yeah, when you find yourself burning out faster than the Mission Impossible's 5 second self-destruction message, your partner is most probably high maintenance.

Went out with a high-maintenance man who was very, very adorable and yet terribly, terribly insecure. Up to a point where he didn't even believe my constant reassurances. Was emotionally wrung out but we were together for quite a while. Was a sucker for punishment, I guess :P

10:56 PM  
Blogger Wabbit said...

hey hey, not all Singaporean gals are like tat ok....wats so classy about eating french and italian..speaking it is more impressive.

11:15 PM  
Blogger vagus said...

No no, i'm sure not all singaporean gals are like that. but this girl i know certainly was!
hehe, yea french is a beautiful language. but i'll stick with manglish/singlish, thank you :)

11:24 PM  
Blogger PaulOS said...

You got the..... GUTS for it man!


I shall have to reserve comments lest I have an organ surgically removed from my body. TK, you can do the honours of trying to patch me back up. *sigh*

Maintenance comes in mainly 2 forms,
Firstly $$$ comes to mind..

but there's something more important, i.e. emotional maintenance. And yeah, you will know when you're burning out once you start to "sigh" at the midnight calls as opposed to being excited to falling asleep to the voice of a loved one.

It's true we're supposed to invest in each other's emotional bank, and how do we really really know if the deposit has been made .. and not I.O.U slips?

Wabbit, that's a nice pic, studio pic or amatuer photographer?

I've not met many Sinkapolean gals, but so far I've gotten good impressions about them. How different are we from each other? Would that make another good blog title?

Alamak.. I Cheong Hey again.. *sigh*

1:56 AM  
Blogger Tinkerbell said...

High maintenance man is someone who is as helpless as a baby in the kitchen and never lifts a finger in the house or help babysit the kids.

Thank God such species belong to past generations (I hope?)

Your remark about the spanish and italian food reminds me of a time when a girlfriend and I were chatting about steak, and I made the following off the cuff remark

"The only cuts of steak I like are scotch fillet and T-bone".

The instant I said it, I realized with some mortification how badly it sounded :=)

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