I'm back. Hiatus Schmiatus; after clearing my head for a day, I realized that one shouldn't be bothered by little things, especially by thoughtless people who mean nothing to me. For those encouraging notes from others: Thanks.
That said, I've probably not been myself for the last couple of days. No matter how many times one has left home, it never gets easier (despite what people say), and it's the last few days preceeding my departure that I dread the most. I'm sure those who share a life like mine outside of Malaysia would understand. It never gets easier. When you start counting down. It's like, Oh, this will be the last time I'm seeing you this year. Or eating that this year. Or, for some people, you kinda know you'll probably never see them again.
This is the phase when I'm unusually grumpy.
That said, I can't say that part of me isn't looking forward to going back. Away from the sweltering heat. Back to the system I'm familiar with. And of course, back to Veronica. Sweet Veronica. I hope she starts ok; forgot to tell my friends to start her engine while I'm gone. I must say, despite missing home and family and food; I feel blessed to be there. So, I'm not going to put up with remarks of an insensitive entity.
Although this trip has been short, it was well worth it. I got to spend some precious time with my family. Everyone's a bit older now, but it's nice to see how close we remain. Got to see my nephew for the first time (hmm, perhaps I could fit him in my hand luggage?). Met up with my old friends; Al and I were just talking today, about how it's interesting that our primary school group is still pretty close. Perhaps it was the ties we made in the prefectorial board, or being a La Sallian. But it's almost like I never strayed very far from my buddies here. Even though it's been well over a decade when we left St. Paul, and many are married and some are parents. And our emails are infrequent short notes often peppered with objectionable language (Hmm, guys, wasn't that somewhere in the Prefectorial Board Code of Condult? Thou shalt not use objectionable language?). And, for that I'm thankful, that I'm able to come home, be who I am, and be loved for it. No charades or false accents. Just plain old me. I'll miss you clowns, guys (and gals-lar). Sorry I'll be missing your wedding, Sal. Or Kev (we'll see lar how much time off I get during my fellowship, no promises I'll make it back). Or Sharon (geez, issit me or is everyone getting married this year??). Know that I'll keep you guys close to heart, and wish you the best (and save myself some angpow money since I won't be going to your dinner!).
This has also been special, in that I got to meet some new friends too. People who, despite my being here for such a short time, made me feel comfortable hanging out with them. And I felt like I'd known them for years. And surprisingly, put up with my qwerks and habits, although there was some mention of how I looked! I had a lot of fun, and I think I made some good friends in them. And thinking about it, it's serendipitious how I met some of them.
I have been able to close (I'm trying to convince myself it's been successful) some other chapters in my life which was way past due. Emotional housecleaning which I had neglected for too long.
So, like I said, fruitful trip, if a bit short.
The one thing that I hate though, is how one meets people who touches you at a very deep level, and then, one has to walk (or in this case, fly) away. How is one expected to do that easily?
I suppose upcoming work will keep me busy.
By this time tomorrow, I should be somewhere over the Pacific. Hopefully the flight will be less painful this time. But, I'm recharged, and I know I'll be fine. So, till the next time I return, Godspeed.