Tuesday, July 03, 2007

Transformers

Warning: Geeky substance ahead.Just watched Transformers.
Hmm. Movie about robots. Predictable. Shallow. Bad acting. What can I say?

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Omifarkinggawd!!! What a rush!!! KNNCCB, I'm still tachycardic, 20 mins after the show. Drove Veronica home like a freakin' maniac, like she was Bumblebee himself.
For those wonderful 2 hours 23 minutes, I was grinning ear to ear, excited beyond words. Like a teen watching his first X-rated movie. And I'm not even talking about the very foxy Megan Fox (yea, lame pun I know).
For the moment I'm going to forget I'm a 30-year old physician at an extremely academic institution.
And admit that I was the classic 80's Transformers fanatic. Till now, I swear to God, I know the words to the Transformers cartoon theme.
"Transformers. More than meets the eye. Autobots reach their travel to destroy the evil forces of, the Decepticons...."
I could go on.
I even teared up when Optimus Prime died in Transformers, the Movie (the cartoon movie, that is). Okay, fine, I didn't tear up; I fucking cried, ok? Happy??
I even had some of the toys.
Triggerhappy, Misfire, Jetfire. Though mom chucked my toys into the trash over a decade over, I remember how to transform the jets into robots. I still remember!! Every single step.

Back to the show.

As a movie, I didn't think it was anything special. Typical action movie. But as a movie adaptation of Transformers, now that was beautifully executed! It was amazing what the CG allowed them to do. Fast cars, planes, turning into robots, now what's not to like? The action and battle scenes were just out of this world.
Purists might condemn how Bumblebee became a Camaro instead of a VW Beetle, or how Starscream was a F-22 Raptor instead of an F-15, or how Megatron wasn't a gun. But hey, one has to move with the times, right? Though I don't remember Optimus Prime having that funky flames tattoo (that was Rodimus Prime).
The acting, though, was predictably crap. The Section 7 goon acted like he was some insane, incompetent moron. Who bore a striking resemblance to Seinfeld's Kramer. Megan Fox's acting, though I worship the ground she walks on, was as plastic as a Macy's window mannequin. Only Megan's prettier. And has bigger boobs. But still, this is probably the only time I'll say I watched a movie with a supermegahot babe not to see her, but to see computer-generated robots.
I thought the storyline was very predictable. And the script lame at times. Almost like they tried to hard to make some parts funny (Jazz talking in hip-hop lingo= not cute). And tried too hard to incorporate some of the classic cartoon quotes. Like 'More than meets the eye'.
There were the usual stereotypes too. Computer hacker is some weird-looking nerd/freak who knows not only how to hack into your blog, but also how to hotwire a 1980's computer into some radio from the Cold War era? I'm not sure if Wikipedia teaches you these things. Or hotbabe whose father was a 'car-person' (without spoiling the story for you readers) is able to start a borrowed car simply by tugging some wires and reconnecting them, in less than 3 seconds.
It was also interesting how every woman in the theater tonight came with a guy. Every single one of them. No females came voluntarily, on their own. Which was a reversal of 3 weeks ago when I watched 'Knocked Up' with Kristin and I noticed the cinema packed with females, and that the only males there came accompanying the females. Needless to say, most guys tonight were about my age, probably grew up on this cartoon too. And there was applause at the end of the movie.
My verdict? If you're a big, dumb guy like me who's girlfriend happens to be out of town, who likes cars, planes, robots and babes, and especially if you're a Transformers fan from my generation, go go go watch this movie. And enjoy every single millisecond of it!