Vagus' Laws of Air Travel

1. The bladder size of passengers is inversely proportional to their seating distance from the aisle.

2. The body mass index of aircraft passengers is directly proportional to their distance from the aisle.

3. The screaming capacity of infants (measured in Decibels) on a particular flight is directly proportional to the duration of the flight, and inversely proportional to its distance from the passenger most needing sleep.