Saturday, February 18, 2006

What I hate about Home

I'm melting.
And no, it's not even because of the gorgeous women here.
It's hot.
The forecast on MSNBC showed 32C at KLIA. While back in MN, it's currently -27C not including windchill. While after windchill, it's -37C.
Holy smokes. So between this week and next, my body will go through the shock of an almost 70-degree celsius change. Brings a whole new meaning to the words 'balls shrink'. A favourite phrase amongst my highschool friends.
The one thing that's really irking me this visit (well, every visit, come to think of it) is how we Malaysians drive. There's just something about us. Maybe it's the schooling. Maybe it's the air. Or diet or something. But we just absolutely farking suck at operating vehicles, whether it's how we drive, or park.
Just that day when I had breakfast with Alvin, I saw this Toyota parallel parked behind some other cars that were parked perpendicularly. The thing was, there were at least 3 empt
y parking spots there. Instead of spending the additional 30 seconds actually turning in to the parking, she chose to doublepark behind someone.
And then there's this weird phenomenon, when there's a traffic jam, seems that half the drivers develop some emergency. That has to be it, cos they all start driving on the emergency lane. Never mind that it hardly ever saves any time. Perhaps just, oh, 90 seconds. Which would be enough for, what, time to force one extra piece of poop from your rectum?
There are the impatient ones, who flash or honk you if you're in their way because you're overtaking someone and they're driving their little matchbox on wheels at 200 km/h? Perhaps that Cantonese phrase is real; they're all rushing to reincarnate (as Jabba the Hutt's next ass-pimple?).
Let's not forget too the Mat Rocks on their kap-chais. Rushing in and out of traffic, often without their helmets. Ever so generous for wanting to be on the organ donor list. Just remember to not pledge your brains.
Look, I'm not forgetting my roots, I am after all still Malaysian, and I probably drive just as bad myself, but it's true, having been overseas for 8 years.... it's true we absolutely, horribly suck at driving etiquette.

Tomorrow, I'll talk about what I do miss about home though.


Blogger Adeline said...

Unfortunately, secret boyfriends aren't easy to come by these days... :)

11:33 PM  
Blogger vagus said...

Secret boyfriends?
huh? didn't quite catch that.

2:12 AM  
Anonymous anastasia said...

Ten years down the road, somebody out there is going to blog about the driving ettiquette in Malaysia just the way you did and you will be that idiot parking perpendicular to other cars. =P

3:28 AM  
Blogger vagus said...

actually, no. anastasia, you underestimate me. i'll be the one parking the car on the sidewalk over the bicycles :)

4:01 AM  
Anonymous anastasia said...

lol. Veronica, or someone (Someone?) like her is not going to be able to go over sidewalks and bicycles. Haha.

In Malaysia, double parkers sometimes don't listen to the horns of other cars and sometimes get their windows smashed and handbrakes pulled down. So i guess it is good that you won't be blocking anyone on the sidewalk. ;)

4:37 AM  
Blogger Greenapple said...

i so agree with you...

8:46 AM  

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