Friday, February 10, 2006

The End

As I did my rounds today, trying to tie up loose ends before I leave on vacation, something struck me. Some of the really sick patients I'm following aren't doing well. In fact, 2 of them probably won't make it through the week.
Mr. X, who in a bout of severe depression, tried to kill himself by shooting himself in the gut. This was last October. Since then he's been in the hospital, fed by central parenteral nutrition through a PICC (peripherally-inserted central catheter) line because he had multiple enterocutaneous fistulae. In other words, his gut spews contents out through openings in the skin. We've supported him all we can, but in the last few days he's gone into multiorgan system failure. Shock liver, anuric renal failure on continuous veno-venous hemodialysis. Sepsis. Intubated. We have all the 'miracles' of modern medicine to keep the body alive for days or weeks, but sometimes 'living' is worse than death. He's already begun what we doctors call the 'spiral', slowly swirling around the vortex, about to get sucked in. I don't expect him to make it through the weekend.
And then there's Mr. Y. Post-MI, ischemic cardiomyopathy with an automated implantable cardioverter-defibrillator. Has been having runs of V-tac daily, triggering his AICD to shock him. Had an ischemic stroke. Now in renal failure. But because of his poor EF, wouldn't tolerate dialysis too well. After meeting with his family, he wished to be comfort care only. So we pulled all the lines. Removed his NG feeding tube. The uremia will take his life in 2-5 days. Hopefully he'll gently drift off into a coma. Yesterday they were still doing the full-cord press. But last evening he had had enough; he wanted to die in peace. So today when I visited him, there was nothing to say, except, "Are you comfortable?"
To which he nodded his head.
I held his hand for a minute, quitely said a prayer for him. And said goodbye. He knew exactly what I meant. The ultimate farewell. The celestial hospital discharge.
All this, and I'll be flying home in 15 hours to see my family and friends. So how does one walk away from all this? How does one pretend that one isn't all drenched with death, and the dying? We do what we can, I suppose. And life goes on for the rest of us.
Peace be with them.


Blogger Gina said...

That is why I admire people like you. To stare death in the eyes of your patients, and accepted it as fate.

People die. People will go away. You did good. You make them feel comfortable and human at the end of the day.

7:12 PM  
Blogger vagus said...

Thanks Gina.

4:37 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

what is the meaning of life?

11:57 PM  
Blogger ninest123 Ninest said...

ninest123 10.22
jordan shoes, louis vuitton handbags, tiffany and co, michael kors outlet, ugg boots clearance, christian louboutin, replica watches, cheap uggs, longchamp outlet, louis vuitton outlet, polo ralph lauren outlet, rolex watches, louis vuitton outlet, oakley sunglasses, air max, michael kors outlet online sale, chanel handbags, nike shoes, uggs outlet, louis vuitton, cheap oakley sunglasses, michael kors outlet, michael kors outlet, louboutin shoes, oakley sunglasses cheap, michael kors outlet, gucci outlet, ray ban sunglasses, prada handbags, louis vuitton outlet stores, tory burch outlet, longchamp handbags, oakley sunglasses, nike free, oakley sunglasses, michael kors outlet, kate spade outlet, ugg outlet, uggs, longchamp handbags, burberry outlet, polo ralph lauren, air max, louboutin, burberry outlet, louboutin outlet, prada outlet, tiffany and co

1:00 AM  
Blogger ninest123 Ninest said...

ray ban pas cher, air max, new balance pas cher, sac guess, kate spade handbags, nike roshe run pas cher, true religion outlet, coach outlet, converse pas cher, nike free pas cher, nike blazer, michael kors outlet, nike roshe, coach factory outlet, polo lacoste, louboutin, true religion jeans, michael kors pas cher, nike free, sac burberry, coach outlet store online, nike air max, timberland, air jordan, lululemon outlet online, hollister, north face, coach purses, air max pas cher, longchamp, ralph lauren, abercrombie and fitch, hogan outlet, hollister, vanessa bruno, north face, oakley pas cher, sac hermes, michael kors uk, true religion outlet, mulberry, ray ban sunglasses, nike air force, nike tn, air max, sac longchamp pas cher, michael kors, true religion jeans, polo ralph lauren, vans pas cher, ray ban sunglasses

1:02 AM  
Blogger ninest123 Ninest said...

hollister, north face outlet, louboutin, nike huaraches, hollister clothing store, reebok outlet, lululemon outlet, baseball bats, chi flat iron, timberland boots, soccer shoes, converse shoes, bottega veneta, mont blanc, p90x, jimmy choo outlet, nike roshe run, vans shoes, herve leger, abercrombie, iphone cases, oakley, ralph lauren, wedding dresses, instyler, nike trainers, vans, mcm handbags, north face jackets, birkin bag, air max, insanity workout, beats by dre, babyliss pro, celine handbags, ferragamo shoes, converse, asics running shoes, mac cosmetics, nfl jerseys, ghd, ray ban, abercrombie and fitch, valentino shoes, longchamp, new balance shoes, air max, gucci, giuseppe zanotti, soccer jerseys, ray ban sunglasses

1:04 AM  
Blogger ninest123 Ninest said...

ugg, toms shoes, moncler, ugg, michael kors outlet online, sac lancel, karen millen, marc jacobs, montre homme, michael kors outlet, thomas sabo, juicy couture outlet, canada goose, doke gabbana, rolex watches, sac louis vuitton, canada goose, canada goose outlet, moncler, moncler, sac louis vuitton, canada goose, links of london, louis vuitton uk, ugg pas cher, louis vuitton, pandora jewelry, pandora charms, wedding dresses, hollister, moncler, pandora jewelry, moncler, barbour, juicy couture, ugg boots, canada goose, moncler, pandora charms, coach outlet store online, canada goose jackets, canada goose uk, ugg, swarovski crystal, moncler outlet, michael kors handbags, canada goose, supra shoes, moncler, louis vuitton, swarovski, barbour
ninest123 10.22

1:07 AM  
Blogger 艾丰 said...

fitflops shoes
fitflops sale
fitflops sale clearance
fitflops sale
fitflops shoes
michael kors outlet
michael kors outlet
michael kors outlet
tiffany and co
tiffany jewellery
beats by dr dre
beats by dre
oakley sunglasses
oakley sunglasses
ray-ban sunglasses
ray ban sunglasses
hollister uk
lululemon outlet
ugg outlet
ugg boots
ugg boots
rolex watches
mulberry handbags
mulberry bags
mulberry outlet
mulberry sale
mulberry handbags
mulberry handbags
louis vuitton handbags
louis vuitton handbags
toms shoes
omega watches
ferragamo shoes

8:43 PM  
Blogger 柯云 said...

coach outlet store online
louis vuitton handbags
coach factorty outlet online
michael kors outlet
jordan 11
ralph lauren polo shirts
true religion outlet
coach factorty outlet
ray ban sunglasses
tiffany and co jewelry
louis vuitton outlet
ralph lauren
nike uk
coach outlet online
coach outlet online
nike huarache black
kate spade outlet
kobe shoes
coach outlet
oakley sunglasses
oakley sunglasses
air max 95
coach outlet
cheap air jordans
coach outlet
tods outlet store
louis vuitton outlet online
louis vuitton bags
nike roshe run mens
lebron 12
cheap air jordans
montblanc pens
louboutin shoes
hollister clothing
louis vuitton outlet
air max 90
fitflop shoes
oakley outlet
true religion outlet store

3:36 AM  
Blogger LCc 03 said...

cheap nfl jerseys
adidas superstar shoes
longchamp handbags
yeezy shoes
yeezy shoes
kyrie 3 shoes
michael kors outlet
nike air huarache
air max 2017

10:52 PM  
Blogger raybanoutlet001 said...

adidas nmd runner
mont blanc pens
the north face
buffalo bills jerseys
jordan shoes
cleveland cavaliers jersey
chargers jerseys
jordan shoes
ray ban sunglasses
lions jerseys

4:12 AM  
Blogger alice asd said...

true religion jeans
nike shoes
air jordan 4
ugg boots
saints jerseys
ray ban sunglasses
mont blanc pens outlet
steelers jerseys
michael kors handbags

9:05 PM  
Blogger happy 123 said...

michael kors handbags
nhl jerseys
ralph lauren outlet
oklahoma city thunder jerseys
polo ralph lauren
ugg boots
ugg outlet
oakland raiders jerseys
ugg boots
nike shoes

1:13 AM  
Blogger Anna Halima said...

It is great to have visited your website. Thanks for sharing useful information. And also visit my website about health. God willing it will be useful too

Obat Sakit Dada
Obat Tumor Jinak diatas Bola Mata
Penyebab Benjolan dileher
Obat Penghilang Nyeri Lutut
Obat Penghilang Nyeri Pada Payudara
Pengobatan penyakit Meningioma
Obat Luka Bernanah bekas Caesar


10:51 PM  
Blogger yesi nurazizah said...

Very Nice Blog Updation Keep Updating !!

Cara Mengobati Penyakit Gagal Ginjal
Pengobatan Penyakit Insomnia
Cara Paling Ampuh Mengobati penyakit Hipotiroid
Cara Alami Untuk Mengobati Batuk Kronis

2:01 AM  

Post a Comment

<< Home