Wednesday, February 09, 2005

Bad news

Received some bad news today.
One of my classmates, Mike, and his wife lost their baby yesterday. She was in her late third trimester with their first baby, when she felt the baby stop moving. An ultrasound provided the grave diagnosis. Last I heard, they induced her.
Sigh. Tragic. Beautiful couple. I'm not particularly close to Mike, but they've had a lot of battles. She was involved in a major motor vehicle accident 2 years ago, and had to be flown in to the hospital. She had significant closed-head trauma and recuperating took a long time. I had visited her in the neuro ICU and then the rehab unit, and I teared up when I saw her that day, intubated. I'd seen hundreds of patients intubated, with an ET tube going into their mouths, pumping air and inflating their lungs for them. But when it's a face you recognize... it hits you like a bomb. She fought hard, and with Mike's undying love and devotion, they pulled through and recovered.
Everyone was ecstatic when she got pregnant. But this news must be devastating to them. Being doctors, one would think that we would be able to handle these things well. But sometimes things just hit a bit too close to home. With another 2 classmates expecting, this would affect us all at a very personal level.
And then, I just heard from another friend, that he and his wife of just 3 years are separating. How long, he didn't know. Took each other for granted, that's what he says.
"The separation will do us some good."
I had to nod and give my support. But does a period of separation ever do anyone any good? Maybe I'm just being too idealistic and unrealistic, but heck, if you're having problems and you KNOW you're taking someone for granted (I know the couple well and that's probably true on his part) then dammit, you married her, for better or worse, so you better darn well not give up, but fight. Fight to the end. Because if love is not worth fighting for, then what is? Money? Paper degrees? Material wealth? That's all b*llshit. Love, love is what gives life meaning. You commit to someone, and you never back out. Never.
Not a good way to start the new year. But life goes on. And as I type now, I hear the airlift helicopter landing at the hospital. Someone's very sick and dying. But life goes on.
My prayers will be with Mike and Ana. I hope yours will be too, whoever who's reading this.


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