Monday, May 30, 2016

Of Expirations and Best Before Dates...

Question: Is it safe to consume ikan bilis that expired 4 years ago, or sambal paste from 3 years ago, or rendang mix that expired in 2011?
Affirmative. Affirmative. Affirmative.
As with other few (precious) weekends when I get to play the role of bachelor, when my wife is away visiting family, or at some medical conference, I turn to my vices. And in some ways I wish I could say my life was exciting enough to have secret sex orgies, or drunken escapades, or spending the night in the 'lokap' when I'm a free man, no, what I really do is cook.
As in cook Malaysian food that my kids, wife, neighbors and American friends consider to be more pungent than fermented gym socks.
And because I can't usually cook certain aromatic, spicy dishes, I hoard racks and racks of Malaysian spices. If you're a Malaysian expat living in abroad, you know what I mean. That pack of Bak Kut Teh spices or Rendang paste is more precious than my left arm. 
So when you hoard stuff that you don't usually get to use, the inevitable happens. They expire. But who in their right minds would throw away otherwise perfectly 'good' food and spices from the Motherland??
After all, expiration dates are a government conspiracy. I tell my wife that nothing vacuum packed/frozen ever goes bad.
This weekend, with the missus being away at Boston  with one of the girls, I took the opportunity to make Nasi Lemak.
My wife would rather inhale the air in a small sauna with a dozen flatulent sumo wrestlers than to smell ikan bilis. And with my kid having a peanut allergy, this is a no-no in our household. But with me being semi-alone this week, the timing was perfect.
Except I then noted the print on the packets. April 2012 for the ikan bilis. Ogos 2013 for the sambal paste, and Feb 2011 for the rendang spices.
For a moment, I thought about tossing them and not risking it. For all of 2 seconds.
But then I realized I already have my last will and testament and trust all written up. And life insurance policy in place. And my retirement portfolio has done quite well so far. So the family would be OK without me should shit happen. Literally.
And so, voila:
Nasi Lemak with sambal ikan bilis, ayam rendang, satay sauce. 8 hours later, I'm still alive and kicking. No gastronomic catastrophe yet. I haven't gone blind yet.
Except Ava was getting worried for me, seeing how much I was sweating. The beads of sweat was literally dripping off my head.
In retrospect, perhaps making a spicy dish on a warm 30C day wasn't the best time. But man, it was worth it. And perhaps speaking as someone who hasn't tried it, but there is no way some orgy would be more satisfying that a spicy nasi lemak meal.
Or can it?

7 Comments:

Blogger iml said...

LLLOOOLLLL true blue malaysian

2:19 AM  
Blogger MayAn Lim said...

Ikan bilis have an expiry date?

10:12 AM  
Blogger Trúc Phương said...

Kinasingkasing in ky yeu
in phong bi nga Kita magpasalamat sa in the nhan vien
In thẻ VIP mga korporasyon, mga kompanya, Mẫu kỷ yếu đẹp
Mẫu phong bì đẹp mga ahensya ug mga Mẫu kỷ yếu đẹp
Mẫu phong bì đẹp negosyo nga nakig uban sa mga in giấy khen giá rẻ
in kẹp file giá rẻ shares nga kompanya sa Hong Post. Diin ang Company in giấy khen tại Hà nội
in bao lì xì kita adunay oportunidad sa ihingusog sa ilang mga kaugalingon ingon man usab sa mas labaw nga bug-os in thiep chuc mung nam moi
in catalogue giá rẻ pag-alagad sa mga kustomer sa usa ka propesyonal nga paagi ug kalidad pa.

5:17 AM  
Blogger vagus said...

I dunno- the packs of ikan bilis do show an expiration date. But I'm alive so far :)

6:57 AM  
Blogger LCc 03 said...

kobe basketball shoes
fitflops
lacoste outlet
hermes belt
longchamp outlet
nike air force
longchamp handbags
longchamp bags
nike air zoom
yeezy sneakers

10:51 PM  
Blogger SabrinaGreen said...

Great post. Meet and greet Heathrow Airport

12:03 AM  
Blogger Brooke Higgins said...

Nice post. Luton parking meet and greet

2:49 AM  

Post a Comment

<< Home