Signs You're Getting Old

1. It's Saturday night, and you find yourself in bed by 8:30 p.m.
2. You get motion sickness playing on the swingset with your toddler
3. Your sideburns are greying
4. You catch yourself choosing to drive the Lexus and not the Porsche on a beautiful sunny day because you're too lazy to work the clutch
5. When the baby's finally asleep, between sex and going to sleep, you're sometimes picking sleep
6. You're starting to seriously think about life insurance, writing a will, living revocable trust and things like that
7. You think driving at 70 mph is way too fast
8. You walk past a leggy 20-year old blonde bombshell and you catch yourself looking at her mother instead
9. Your friends' kids call you 'Uncle' or 'Auntie'
10. You think it's perfectly normal to be getting up at 2 a.m to pee
11. You're needing to take some ibuprofen for knee pains after running 3 miles on the treadmill
12. Someone tells you you look good in that tweed jacket

Sighhh. I suppose, as an elderly wise patient once told me, the alternative to getting old is to die young which isn't a good thing either.