Of Men and Fashion

Kristin happens to think I'm colour-blind. And totally oblivious to current fashion trends. I happen to disagree with her. That's one nice thing about wearing suits to work. I mean, a suit is a suit right? How can one go wrong?

Oh how mistaken can one be.

Perhaps it was too early a Monday morning. Perhaps I got dressed in the dark, not wanting to wake the lady up. Perhaps I didn't have my glasses on. Who knows?

I got to work. Felt pretty good, humming a song while walking from the parking ramp to the office. Looked at myself in the reflection off the shiny windows of the clinic. And thought to myself,

What in God's Green Earth was I thinking????

I had a brown plaid sport coat over a green checkered long-sleeved shirt and beige-coloured slacks. And a grey tie with a silver tiepin. Onyx-silver cufflinks. And a navy blue Littman Cardiology III SE stethoscope over my neck.

I looked like the clown from PT Barnum's circus. All that was missing was a red nose and oversized shoes.

So now, I'll have to remind myself to listen to my woman, that

1) White jeans were 'in' only in the early 90's (even if it's Levi's or Guess). I bet even John Travolta is embarassed about his Saturday Night Fever stint.

2) Men should not wear Capris shorts

3) I should not wear a black suit with a black dress shirt and silver tie. Not unless I'm a magician about to make Lady Liberty disappear

4) Contrary to what I may think, it's not cool to have my pager, cellphone and PDA clipped onto my belt. Especially on the same side.

5) I should not tuck my shirt in when I wear shorts

6) Hard Rock Cafe T-shirts really belong in museums

7) Unless you're the reincarnate of Gianni Versace, you shouldn't wear yellow T-shirts. And there was a reason the gunman didn't miss

8) Wearing tight Renoma undies do no make you look like the models in the ads

Now, naturally, the above is but a generalization. Not all men are helpless basket-cases. Some men are born with that innate sense of fashion and grace. They're also usually gay (another generalization. But it's true for me- my best-dressed friends are gay).

Thank goodness for girlfriends and wives who remind us what slobs we are.