Dear Santa (part II)
I've been a really good boy this year. Aside from feeding the poor, elderly lhamas at the Minnesota zoo, I've also been good to the environment by recycling my underwear at least 6 times before washing them. And, unlike those totally false accusations last year of me groping women's der·ri·ères (as I said last year, I was just brushing off a spider), there has been no such episode on my record (aside from taking photographs of thighs, but for that I blame those women's sexy attire. I am after all, just following the examples of our exalted Malaysian politicians. And we know how they in all their wisdom is never wrong).
Therefore Santa, I feel that I have earned the right to provide you with my Christmas wishlist. I trust you would be delighted in bringing me my goodies.
Honda S2000 coupeMercedes-Benz SLK280 hardtop convertible roadster.
- Xbox 360, premium edition. With the 3D human surface anatomy video game, Rumble Roses XX. After all, what better way for a doctor to study anatomy AND his hand-eye coordination? Santa, it's hard to find a doctor as dedicated to studying than I.
- Male enhancer, for err, my friend who shall remain nameless. No no, of course it is not for me. Why on earth would I need such a thing? So quick to jump to conclusions, Santa. You forget my college nickname was tripod.
- The next Powerball winning numbers, so that I may use the $33 million for the good of my fellow mankind.
Life-sized pin-up of Carmen Electra, and if you can, her personal phone numberSome ice for my bruises and some flowers for my girlfriend...
Your cookie and 'milk' (vodka and lime) will be under the tree. And in return, I, as a physician, would be more than happy to give you that prescription for Viagra. Don't be embarassed, these things are common in the elderly. Just don't take nitroglycerin with these. And don't worry, I won't say anything to Mrs. Claus.
P/S: And Santa, watch out for them 747s.