Best Man

Nick asked me not too long ago to be his best man. They get married later this month in Chicago. So, I asked him what he needed me to do.
"Oh, nothing much. Just need you to give a speech. And yea, you'll need to get a tux too!" (which I took to mean I look too sloppy in my natural state)
Looked around for something presentable to get. Thought perhaps a black tuxedo with grey vest would look nice. Something traditional.

Then again, the wedding banquet will be on a boat. Romantic cruise around the lake, so perhaps black would be too hot. Maybe something white?

Strangely enough, the rental website didn't say anything about whether the date comes along with the tux.

Or maybe something a bit more traditional, to reflect my heritage?

Or perhaps something more 'modern'? Don't quite like leather pants though; I hear they rub pretty bad. Or maybe that's a good thing.

This would be my 2nd time being best man. The first time was at one of my best friends' wedding in 2001. What took the cake then was when he, at the end of the banquet, inebriated and unable to drive, came up to me to ask me to go out to buy him a box of condoms.

"This is your wedding night! What on Earth did you expect to do tonight???" I exclaimed. To me, it was akin to Neil Armstrong about to get disembark from the Eagle but realizing that he left his helmet behind.

Nonetheless, being the dutiful Best Man, I excused myself from the gang who was meeting up at the local mamak, to make a trip to 7-11 in downtown Seremban. To pick up a box of condoms. Still dressed in my suit. Still had the corsage on my lapel. Still reeked of a mixture of booze, sweat and Escape by Calvin Klein.

They must have thought I was one high-class but butt-ugly gigolo. But still, the adik at the store didn't call the cops on me. Or try to pinch my ass.

I'm actually quite looking forward to this. Except, I have no idea how American weddings go. I know somewhere, somehow there should be a bachelor party (have been to only one thus far. Ahem. At least that's what I'm willing to 'fezz to) . And I'm pretty sure I'm not supposed to shout 'Yammmm Sennnnnngg' at the end of my Best Man's speech.