Trust me:

"A bidet is not something you soak your ass into"

Pronunciation: bi-'dAFunction: nounEtymology: French, small horse, bidet, from Middle French, from bider to trot: a bathroom fixture used especially for bathing the external genitals and the posterior parts of the body

A friend recently returned from a trip to Barcelona. Stayed at a spiffy hotel with bidets. Unfortunately, he didn't know what to do with it, and was gullible enough to believe his liar of a friend, who told him to use it to soak his fat (oops, I meant firm) ass like a sitz bath.