Ode to My Pager
Oh Code Blue, you hateful Code Blue
I dread the days when I hear from you.
Up the stairs, and down the halls I race,
To find the patient, who's trying to leave for a better place.
I shout to the nurses, "I'm here, I'm the code team leader!"
(But actually, there isn't anyone in the room stupider).
Check his airway, breathing and circulation
Then shock, shock, shock for ventricular fibrillation.
Epinephrine 1mg q 3 minutes
And other crazy chemicals in the code kits
Should I try lidocaine, or should i do amiodarone?
Quick, quick, decide, before the patient's gone.
Do we have pulses, or is he in PEA?
Oh, crap, what's making him this way?
Stat blood gases, and check his electrolytes.
Is this an MI, PE or some other plight?
Thoughts of you, give me sleepless nights,
Coz I don't know, when my pager might bite.
I might be showering when the patient decides to die,
Or will you code, when I go to pang-sai?
So here I am, awake on my callroom bed,
Need to poop, but I think i'll hold it in instead.