Sunday, December 12, 2004

Ode to My Pager

Oh Code Blue, you hateful Code Blue
I dread the days when I hear from you.

Up the stairs, and down the halls I race,
To find the patient, who's trying to leave for a better place.

I shout to the nurses, "I'm here, I'm the code team leader!"

(But actually, there isn't anyone in the room stupider).
Check his airway, breathing and circulation
Then shock, shock, shock for ventricular fibrillation.

Epinephrine 1mg q 3 minutes
And other crazy chemicals in the code kits
Should I try lidocaine, or should i do amiodarone?
Quick, quick, decide, before the patient's gone.

Do we have pulses, or is he in PEA?
Oh, crap, what's making him this way?
Stat blood gases, and check his electrolytes.
Is this an MI, PE or some other plight?

Thoughts of you, give me sleepless nights,
Coz I don't know, when my pager might bite.
I might be showering when the patient decides to die,
Or will you code, when I go to pang-sai?

So here I am, awake on my callroom bed,
Need to poop, but I think i'll hold it in instead.


Blogger munch said...

haha very cute. Take my advice go poo and drop the pager in the bowl when you flush!!

11:48 PM  
Anonymous Pathane Wadler said...

Sometimes, a doctor may struggle to save a patient's life at an unexpected time. But when the resuscitation restarts the pulse anew, it's a huge relief, and the struggle is truly worth it. I think your pager also helps you get that adrenaline rush to rescue every single patient.

2:44 PM  
Anonymous Cora Bullock said...

Woops, I nearly choked on my drink at the end of the poem there! Haha! Seriously though, I have a lot of respect for doctors because they really do go out of their way to get to the hospital and help out when their pagers go off. Those pagers are really handy. It’s really cool to see that they’re still being used these days.

9:50 AM  
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