Oncall again. Tired beyond belief. It has been a busy night... all the teams are getting crazy admissions. We've already had a number of unstable patients. And already one code today. Thankfully that guy came out ok. My hunch proved right; hypoglycemic seizure.Have another 14 hours before I complete my 30-hour run. And my migraine is acting up...
LAWS OF THE HOUSE OF GOD
I. GOMERS* DON'T DIE.
II. GOMERS GO TO GROUND.
III. AT A CARDIAC ARREST, THE FIRST PROCEDURE IS TO TAKE YOUR OWN PULSE.
IV. THE PATIENT IS THE ONE WITH THE DISEASE.
V. PLACEMENT COMES FIRST.
VI. THERE IS NO BODY CAVITY THAT CANNOT BE REACHED WITH A #14 NEEDLE AND A GOOD STRONG ARM.
VII. AGE + BUN = LASIX DOSE.
VIII.THEY CAN ALWAYS HURT YOU MORE.
IX. THE ONLY GOOD ADMISSION IS A DEAD ADMISSION.
X. IF YOU DON'T TAKE A TEMPERATURE, YOU CAN'T FIND A FEVER.
XI. SHOW ME A MEDICAL STUDENT WHO ONLY TRIPLES MY WORK AND I WILL KISS HIS FEET.
XII. IF THE RADIOLOGY RESIDENT AND THE MEDICAL STUDENT BOTH SEE A LESION ON THE CHEST X-RAY, THERE CAN BE NO LESION THERE.
XIII.THE DELIVERY OF MEDICAL CARE IS TO DO AS MUCH NOTHING AS POSSIBLE.
*Refers to an elderly patient by the author in the book. Not really a politically correct term; unfortunately, used frequently in real life.
From House of God by Samuel Shem