The Mysterious World of Kids

So here I am, sipping coffee at 609AM on a weekend. Hoping the kids won't wake up for a bit so that I get some peace and quiet in the house. But inevitably they will get up early, because it's the weekend. If you're a parent I'm sure you know. Which gets me wondering about this and other questions.

• Like why is it that you have to drag kids out of bed on weekdays when they have to go to preschool, but on weekends they miraculously wake up by 630 all energized?
• How after wolfing down two bowls of rice and saying they're full, but only after a mere 30 minutes later they can say "I'm hungry?"?
• How a 4 year old learns the spelling for Ice Cream before Apple?
• Why it is possibly for a toddler that small, to make a poo that large in her diaper?
• How kids can magically make a freshly laundered shirt dirty again within 0.2 milliseconds of putting it on?
• They can't hear you when you're asking them to clean up 3 feet away, but have superhuman hearing when you're sneaking a sweet dessert in the pantry 30 feet away?
• How they never get sick of watching the same cartoon over and over again? Alli and Ava have seen 'Frozen' about a trillion times by now.
• Or how toddlers seem to get more food on their face than into their mouth?

Not that I'm complaining. But maybe someday I should study this and get this published in some scientific journal. And prophetically, I hear commotion from the kids room.... someone's awake. Uh oh.