Monday, May 21, 2012

Things You Do As A Parent

2 years ago, if you showed me the following list and asked me to do it, I'd say you were out of your mind. And yet now, being a father, I sometimes catch myself doing stuff that would have otherwise made me retch. Things like:
  • Taking partially chewed food out of my mouth and feeding it to my daughter. In public, no less
  • Instead of peeking into her diaper to see if she had taken a dump, I'd pick her up to nose level and take a sniff at her butt. Yup, just like the dogs do.
  • When she gives me a partially eaten ice cream cone with all her slobber, instead of throwing it in the trash I just eat it up without giving it a thought.
  • Using my shirt sleeves to wipe boogers and snot off Alli's face.
  • When she finds weeks-old cereal in her car seat and offers it to daddy, I pop it into my mouth without a thought. Never mind that she had been sitting on it.
  • Handwashing her clothes that had been stained by her blowouts. Even those very juicy, green ones from her first year.
  • Kissing her smelly little toes when she gets a little ouwie from stepping on a rock and wants some TLC
Ah, the joys of fatherhood. It's true they say; it changes you in ways you cannot imagine. And tires the hell out of you, and yet I'm enjoying every moment of it. And I can't wait to see what's in store when number 2 comes.