Friday, March 02, 2012

A Dream

I got an email from Buddy the other day.
Yup, my best friend who succumbed to esophageal cancer last year.
Some stupid spam-mail, presumably because someone had hacked into his account. But yet, I caught myself smiling reading the email. Who knows, perhaps this was a sign from him? Perhaps this was his way of reaching out?
I found myself thinking, “Boy, you must have good broadband up there, buddy!”

Strangely enough, probably because of the email, I dreamt about him that night. I dream we spent an afternoon hanging out. Doing the normal stuff we used to. Going out for a meal, chatting. And in that dream, we spent the time reminiscing the wonderful years of friendship we’ve had, the fun and the mischief we got into. We were thankful for the friends around us. It wasn't the kind of dream where we just relived the past. No, in that dream, we both knew he had passed on, but was only visiting for a short while.

I told him how much we all missed him, and how big of an impression he left in our lives. I tearfully told him how sad it was for Kris and I to say goodbye that night in Penang when we left, knowing very well that that would be the last time we would see him in this world. But Buddy, in his usual stoic way, said that he is doing well. And told me to tell the others to not worry about him. That someday we’d meet again, but until then to go on living and making the most of our lives.
I woke up with my eyes wet that morning. It was as though we had again said our goodbyes. But that was a wonderful dream, to be able to talk to him again. To share how life was for us. To share my troubles and insecurities and things I don't get to unload to many. To just have my Buddy back again, even for just a moment.

God, I enjoyed that dream. Whatever that might have meant, whether or not that was a sign, Buddy, we miss you.