Saturday, March 26, 2011

Of being flatulent

Bad: Farting in front of your patient
Worse: Farting in front of your patient whilst performing a thyroid biopsy
Alas, it happened to me the other day. I almost died; it was one of those "I didn't see it coming" situations. Thankfully the patient and my nurse both pretended they didn't hear it. Or maybe neither weren't sure who did it. But it got me thinking though. What excuse can I give the next time I accidentally let one out in front of a patient?
  • It was the nurse (I write her paychecks, so she wouldn't dare challenge me, would she?)
  • That's just the sound of the needle aspirator.
  • It's normal for your ears to pop or hear things when I stick the 25G needle into your neck. It's just an auditory hallucination.
  • That's the sound of the ultrasound's cooling fan.
  • Sound? What sound? I didn't hear anything.
  • That was just my stomach.
  • That's just gas escaping from the thyroid as I prick it.
Then again, if it's a smelly fart, there's probably no way around it. What excuses can you come up with?


Blogger Tats! said...

"this happens everytime i concentrate. also when i genuinely care for whom i talk to"

2:48 AM  
Blogger iml said...

"Oops! excuse me, too much beans!"
Being a doctor you could probably go on to explain why and how so much gas ended in you. Your patient would come out wiser.

7:10 PM  
Anonymous anastasia said...

"Well, excuse you! You had some beans for lunch didn't you?!"
Say that to the patient. Haha.

11:05 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

smelly fart has no sound usually--- just turn to your nurse and wink * towards the patient :)

2:45 AM  

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