Of being flatulent

Bad: Farting in front of your patient

Worse: Farting in front of your patient whilst performing a thyroid biopsy

Alas, it happened to me the other day. I almost died; it was one of those "I didn't see it coming" situations. Thankfully the patient and my nurse both pretended they didn't hear it. Or maybe neither weren't sure who did it. But it got me thinking though. What excuse can I give the next time I accidentally let one out in front of a patient?

• It was the nurse (I write her paychecks, so she wouldn't dare challenge me, would she?)
• That's just the sound of the needle aspirator.
• It's normal for your ears to pop or hear things when I stick the 25G needle into your neck. It's just an auditory hallucination.
• That's the sound of the ultrasound's cooling fan.
• Sound? What sound? I didn't hear anything.
• That was just my stomach.
• That's just gas escaping from the thyroid as I prick it.

Then again, if it's a smelly fart, there's probably no way around it. What excuses can you come up with?