Sunday, November 22, 2009

Idle Christmas Thoughts

I can't believe it- they've been playing Christmas songs on the radio for the last 2 weeks. The holiday lights and deco are up. Admittedly, if you've followed my blogging trends over the years you know I get nostalgic and perhaps a bit homesick this time of year. Not that I regret the path I took; I think I'm very fortunate and I am blissfully happy. But one is allowed to ponder, no?

  • I think about my highschool buddies with whom I'm still very close emotionally, though I wished we got to see each other more. I wish going out would be as simple as a call and a drive to the mamak stalls. Then again, with kids and work and all, even those who remain in Malaysia don't get to hang out the way we used to.
  • I miss my family. Though we never really celebrated Christmas, we do put the tree up. And the last couple of Christmases they were around. Not this year though.
  • I miss the snowless, hot and humid Christmases back home. With the fake (cotton wool) snow and the very fake Santa. I suppose it's inevitable in Asia; you're not going to find a white man with a big belly and a facefull of white beard to play the role. It's always going to be some Indian or Chinese guy. Not sure which is funnier. But yes, I do miss Malaysia's attempt at trying to be Chrismassy.
  • I miss my buddies from our years in Rochester; I miss simpler times when all we cared about were 1) What crazy cases we saw oncall and 2) Which buffet to hit now that we were postcall, pissed and hungry.
  • I am happily married, but I have to say Christmas makes me ponder about lost loves too. Girls who came and went, and a lot of what ifs. Most of all I wonder about my first love, Elaine, for whom I developed a huge crush when she performed in that Christmas dance when I was 11. Whose family migrated to New Zealand that following Christmas. Wham's 'Last Christmas' and 'Hark, the Herald Angels Sing' tend to remind me of that.
  • I miss hearing my dad sing along to the Christmas songs over the radio. Sinatra, Como, Elvis and a host of others. For some reason though, 'The Little Drummer Boy' seems to stick in my head the most.
Thinking about it all, I realize that what I'm missing most isn't just family and friends, but also memories we've shared, those special moments in the past that have forever left their mark in one's psyche. Moments that will never return, and for that reason, is probably even more special. Bygone times that seemed so much simpler; no jobs, no worries about mortgage or life insurance or bills, no wives or kids; just hanging out and fostering friendships, having simple, thoughtless fun. Having said all that, it's part of growing up (or old, however you look at it). I now have my own family, and it's exciting too thinking about how we begin to pave our own paths, and make our own family's (yes, MY family) traditions and memories (like what we've done for the 2nd year, heading out to the local Tree Lighting ceremony and how we discovered puppies don't like fireworks, but that'll have to be another blog entry).

34 more days to Christmas, folks. What's on your mind?


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Aaah.....melancholic huh? T'is the time for giving, time for sharing. T'is the time for joy. Have a good and blessed X'mas to you and yours.

8:48 PM  
Anonymous Karen said...

X'mas is the time when we miss our family and friends most.
I miss my grandmother who passed away a few years ago. She used to bake cookies and prepare dishes to welcome all of us home.
I miss her laughter and her warmth.
After she's gone, it's just not the same anymore. So cherish your loved ones and try to spend as much time as possible with them. We'll never know when it will be the last time we see them.

9:22 PM  

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