Of Driving in Iowa

While people often tease us about living in Iowa, I have to say we like this city very much. It's a decent size, not too big, nor too small. Low cost of living, safe.

But if there's one thing I really despise about this place, is the number of roadhogs I see every single day driving to work. I hate to generalize, but really this place has the worst drivers I've encountered. This is how I'd classify them:

• The Clueless: People who drive on the fast lane totally oblivious that they're holding up a mile of traffic. Often (again, another generalization, they frequently tend to be little old ladies driving their Buicks)
• The Enforcer: People who stay on the fast lane because they feel that they are driving at the speed limit, and you have no business overtaking them anyway
• The Maniac: Drivers who treat the roads like it's their personal racetrack. You know, the ones who weave in and out of traffic just to get, what, 20 meters ahead of you?
• The Speed Demon: 'Nuff said (okay, so I admit that I'm being a hypocrite; I drove at 110 mph up to Minnesota that one time, but I was late for the wedding rehearsal, and I was the Best Man!)
• The Multitasker: These are the stupid drivers who are yakking on the cellphone while holding the cigarette in the other hand. Hello? And do you hold the steering wheel with your foot, then? Also tends to have one of the aforementioned traits
• The Instigator: I see these pretty frequently. They drive up to my car in their American muscle cars (Mustangs, usually), gawk at the Porsche's cockpit, rev their engines, and take delight in being able to suddenly pass a German car. Young punks, usually, I just ignore them.

Thankfully, one type of driver I do not encounter here are the cursed drivers we all see in Malaysia who, at a traffic jam, decides to cut into the emergency lanes. Don't those people know that if they add another lane to a bottleneck, it just makes things worse? I think there should be a special place in hell for those drivers.