Tuesday, March 20, 2007

300

If there's ever a movie that makes me want to run out in my loin cloth, skin covered in oil, and to eat meat raw and dripping in blood, Lake House 300 has to be it.
The cinematography (background all CG, apparently) was brilliant. The battle scenes eye-popping and so very, very gory and graphic. Body parts flying everywhere like it was a Texas Chainsaw Massacre highschool reunion. Slow-mo in the right parts, though a decapitated torso would have spurted blood way higher than that from a severed carotid artery. Blood was definitely not lacking in the show. And the movie was positively oozing with sexuality. From the oracle's R-rated dance that would make a Vegas pole dancer blush, to the oh-so-prominent nipples (women AND men)(don't ask me why I noticed the men too), to the muscular, well-oiled bodies of the Spartan warriors (good thing my girlfriend wasn't there. She would have gone into shock from the salivary dehydration). And if that Spartan queen isn't one hot MILF, I'm not sure what is.

I'm pretty sure they took some creative liberties with the show, but then again I'm not cultured enough to appreciate the accuracy of history.
My favourite part, really, was the scene of the first battle. Not sure if the Greeks really fought like that, but I thought it was cool.
My verdict:
Go watch the show, especially if you've had one pissed-off, need-to-kill-someone week. And forget the pirated Chow Kit DVD; spend the miserable 6 dollars and watch it on the big screen. Now excuse me while I go hunting for moose.

I said 'No anchovies', dammit!