Friday, May 23, 2014

3 years

Dear buddy,
I've been sloppy; I'm sorry. I know I'm a week late. But it's surreal realizing that it's been over 3 years since you last left us.
Yes, life goes on for the rest of us. And in the hubbub of work, kids and all that, it's easy to take things for granted, and to forget the ones who've left us like you and Gene. It's easy to live only within our little bubble and forget anything else outside our crazy world.
But the truth is, I think about our good times a lot. Perhaps a part of me yearns for those simpler days. Of no kids, simpler job (and we thought playing doctor gets easier after our training; hah!), just us doing our thing. I miss our conversations- though it was more usually me complaining about some girl and you just quietly listening. Or us bitching about some crazy case at work. Or our pig-out sessions with the other Malaysians, or the 3rd person in our triad Nick.
Life is certainly different now. Not better or worse, but different. We've all grown up a bit. Different responsibilities. Not about call, or getting those damn abstracts or powerpoints done, or getting manuscripts published. We all have our own families. It's been a while since I've seen the others, and I miss them greatly too, though some of still occasionally stay in touch. But certainly not as much as those days.
The other day, Alli saw some of my old pictures. Including the one of us playing Wii, but one of you wearing my oven mitts because of your chemo-induced neuropathy. She innocently asked why you were wearing those gloves, or why you had that JP drain sticking out of your neck in that picture when we visiting you in the Methodist hospital and hung out playing cards.
Those were great memories, though recalling the pain and suffering you had to endure (and yet the strength you showed!), part of me is glad you're in a better place now.
I often wonder where heaven lies. The times when I am out with my telescope, looking out into the vast universe in the relative peace of the night, I do wonder- are you up there somewhere, watching the rest of us? Probably sniggering over what we schmucks have to endure in this physical world.
Anyway- the kids are asleep, and I finally have a moment to myself. I thought I'd reach out and let you know you are missed, my friend, and though you left us 3 years ago, those memories remain vivid, and you remain close to heart.
We miss you.