Bad Dad?

I've done some things as a father that I'm ashamed of.

Tell me it's normal, and I'm not going to Father Hell for this.

Or that Santa's not going to visit this year.

• Taxed some of the stuff my daughter collected on Halloween. And she's wondering why her Halloween candy stash is running low
• When reading bedtime stories, especially when she picks a thick book, yes I admit I sometimes skip pages
• Bribed her with candy. "Here, if you smile for the picture, I'll give you some chocolate"
• Recycle clothes. After all, if it looks clean, smells clean, who cares if she wore it yesterday? After all I do that too!
• Trained her to be a carnivore like me. After all, she's half Malaysian. Admittedly there was some pride when I asked her the other day what she'd like for breakfast and she replied "Meat, meat, meat!"
• Taught her the old "Pull my finger" and fart trick. She learnt to fart on command before she was 18 months old

Please tell me they won't revoke my Daddy License. Yes, it's a lot of work, more than the Hubby License or Doctor License. But I enjoy this job immensely.