Friday, May 28, 2010

Where do we go from here?

I was in the shower when I heard this song dedication on Delilah. It went out from one friend to another, from this world to the next after she lost her battle to some cardiac ailment. And perhaps I was in a soppy, sentimental world, but I caught myself thinking, where do we go from here? I mean, it's all a leap of faith, isn't it? It's not like we have tangible proof that we step in one world into another, another plane of existence.
I think about the patients I've lost, even just recently on my last call. I think about that patient with diffusely metastatic cancer who probably has only months to live. I think about lost friends, YS who was killed in a motorcycle accident on the way to school. Or AK, who had a fatal pulmonary embolism. I think about family; aunt Lian, about Grandpa. God, I miss him- it's been 12 years and I wasn't a man yet, but I'd like to have known him when I was grown up.
I'd like to think that after we close this chapter, after we exhale the very last molecules of CO², we don't simply cease to exist. That we do move into a different existence but yet are aware of the happenings in the world. That Ah Kong is still around, looking down at us.
I'd like to think that at the end of the road, I get to see my old friends, my family.
Deep down, I do believe in it.
I really do.
I do hope I'm right.


Blogger walla said...

It's true.

Empirically, even.

Liberating, just the thought of it.

Hold that one for the rest of your lives.

7:23 PM  

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