Thursday, August 22, 2002


I guess my participation in blogging probably stems from my need to share. The anonymity of the site appeals to my personal and professional needs.
I am in my late 20's, a medical resident fortunate enough to be training in one of the premier medical centers in the midwestern USA. Currently, I am in a 3-year internal medicine program, and expect to subspecialize when this has been completed.
Although I did medical school in Canada and is somewhat used to the north American culture, I feel like a fish out of water being here. At times, I miss my family, my culture, food. But at times, it's just a matter of missing people who know who you are, people who truly understand you. Also, this is the phase in life when roles reverse. I feel the need to look after my parents, to be there with my family when time is limited. My dad is a cancer survivor, having had surgery for colon cancer. That makes my siblings and I prime candidates for colon cancer as well.
We were informed of my dad's cancer just minutes after I had completed my medical school interviews. To this day I remember vividly those difficult moments. I'd like to think that that makes me a better doctor now.
I see my family perhaps once a year. Coming here, I had to leave a lot behind. Aging parents. Even a young lady whom I thought was my soulmate. I had to sacrifice a lot.
I suppose my thoughts and feelings here would reflect that; my eternal conflict deep inside (I would never show any doubt to my patients here) between wanting to progress in my career, and wanting to just go home and live life.